Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Detached

What does it mean to be detached?

Completely and utterly apathetic to the world and actions of those around you. I feel this constantly. I detach myself in someway everyday of my life. It is almost like my conscious has moments of temporary blindness. I don't think, I don't speak. I just am.

It is peaceful.

However; it is often a trigger for me for something much larger. I become too detached. Too unaware. I begin to get frustrated. I do not sleep. I do not eat.

Detachment to others is dangerous. When I hit my lowest, I was detached from everything. You could not tell me right from wrong. You could not tell me wrong from wrong. I just autopiloted until I could see some end at any cost.

I will never know how to control attachment and detachment. Part of me may not want to. The more I understand the brain and its habits; the more it seems to feast on my adrenal glands. To the point where I get so anxious that I cannot go outside and talk to people.



The world is dynamic and fickle. This is where the beauty of detachment comes in. The times you can detach from life, screens, money and just sit. Think about weird japanese tentacle porn or whatever you think of. Not that I think about Japanese Tentacle Porn... all the time.



If you feel detached and depressed. Please reach out, no matter how hard it can be to overcome. People are around you. People will understand. This stigma of detachment means you are a social outcast, an asshole, or rude needs to end. Some people cannot function when they become attached. You never know how each person deals with their demons.

Complete detachment is the last step before a person makes a life or death decision. It was the one thing that stopped me. I could not completely break the chains with me and my family.

A globalizing and social world is making everyone more misanthropic and reclusive. The line between Attachment and Detachment is so thin and grey that you slide into each from second to second.

Be aware of your own detachment reasons and techniques and be cautious of how it will effect you temporarily or permanently.

Regards,

Devon

Monday, July 21, 2014

Lights, Nature, Phone Camera, Selfie

Turn the camera to front facing, make a stupid face. Snap a picture and post it to all the social media. Rinse and repeat day after day. Monotonous and redundant. Making the same face, occasionally change the lighting, or if you have a real life friend they will selfie with you.

As time progresses, our species will become dumber. The excess given to some people is too much.

I really hate camera phones.... Or do I?

The great thing about having an easily accessible camera is you begin to see new beauty in some situations. Some pictures can make an environment seem beautiful. Personify experience, grief and other emotions. To crave that orange notification on instagram. I take pictures of simple things I wouldn't ordinarily take pictures of.

Ironically, even that becomes annoying. I am a misanthrope. Some days I have extreme social anxiety, agitating and making me ever so aware of idiots with cameras. Most noticeably at concerts. Some people go to concerts and watch the concert. It is a rather novel and old fashioned idea. Sometimes bizarre to think that is a possibility. That has gone the way of the Dodo. or Dido. (Ha Ha Ha). People would rather enjoy the concert on a 5 inch screen for grainy terrible sounding videos that they can enjoy never. Almost as a way to rub it into the person who is wearing a Muse shirt. You can say, YEAH WELL I HEARD THEIR SONGS LIVE. EAT A DICK and then throw your phone at them.

Cell phones become the greatest one up in history. The followers you have, the likes, the favorites, the RT's, your pictures, the videos you can show someone of Eminem's Love the Way You Lie. Or the picture of your cat dressed up. The cameras have so much clarity now that you can actually see the cat contemplate hanging itself with your belt because you dressed it up.

These are here to stay, long past my life and yours. People will progressively filter their pictures. People will start naming their kid "LoFi, Hefe, and Kelvin"...

Cities may start naming themselves Nashville.

Regards,

Devon aka A.D.D.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Realization

How much do you give?

A shit
An effort
Your sweat
Your tears
Your Years.

I am notorious for half-assing much of what I do. It is one of the things that irks me about my own personality. Whether it was learned, or I genuinely am that non-chalant in my life. These blogs could be much more refined. I could proofread. Maybe polish up my words and the look of my paragraphs.

But, to be honest. I'm not here to be an english teacher. I've always enjoyed the personable experience and learning than the structured bullshit.

I was told I should write a blog weekly to help free my mind. It helps. That and my codependency for sleep aids (es?) are what get me through the day and night. When I write, I immerse myself. I try to turn the hamsters in my brain. Somedays it works better than others. This blog might not have any meaning or purpose to get me back to writing.

What you should take away from this? Vices are dangerous, depending on what vice, it might be beneficial. Sports and hobbies are the preferred. I chose writing.

Secondly, you will never truly understand how a person feels. From happy, to sad, to depressed. Pharrell Williams could've been the saddest human being of all time when he recorded happy. People are trained individuals of hiding their feelings. It is within the confines of school, that a person learns to hide how they feel. Strangely, people choose to ignore this. Their kids are being moulded by the fear of being outed as an emotional person. A person who cries who may be mocked with homophobic slurs for crying. A person is never really given a chance to talk about how they feel because they are shut up quickly. The sudden realization coming out of high school was that...

Hey? How do I feel? Who do I tell? How can I tell people? Will I face the same judgement.


I put it to you, How did you feel coming out of high school?

How did it effect you?

Sadly, some people never come to that realization. People become more lost as time goes on, because for 12 years+ they are restricted. Their individualism becomes tarnished. They become psychologically inept to their expression. They are bottled up, depressed and left behind. Society will never understand the depths of depression. You are educated to become apathetic and through conditioning apathy is reinforced. 

Regards.
Devon